The Human Who Came to Mobius
by Velvet D'Coolette
Summary: A student lands on Mobius. Soon, he realises how bad the Robotnik problem is and suggests a deadly and intricate plan to remove him. You know those self-insert stories where a human goes to Mobius and 'hilarity ensues? This, I hope, is an antidote to that. Written as part of a trade with a friend.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay, I realised mid-week that the formatting had all disappeared when uploading this story, including scene breaks, which has made the story quite confusing. Here's my re-upload. It should be a lot better now.**

ABOVE THE GREAT FOREST

The first that George knew, he was waking up in deep grass, to a dozen bruises and a rough, deep voice telling him tersely to wake up. That was a 'dozen' with artistic license, of course: he couldn't count his bruises, it was just that there were either a lot of them or they just covered a lot of his body, and they all glowed painfully across his senses.

They covered a lot of his body. Yeah, that was probably the best way to think about it. In any case, he was far more interested in the fact that he recognized the voice talking to him. It sounded astoundingly like Knuckles the Echidna.

George opened his eyes.

Fuck! It was Knuckles the Echidna, frowning down at him. George was just about to express his shock when Knuckles looked up and spoke.

"Who are you?"

"I'm George," answered the human, still too dazed to offer anything but a standard greeting. However, he was interrupted by another voice, one that made his eyes snap open and brought him instantly awake.

"I could ask you the same question." Sonic the Hedgehog! SatAM Sonic, in particular.

George clambered to his feet. He wobbled a little, but managed to stay upright. He looked at the other people surrounding him: Knuckles looked alarmed by his height, but seemed torn between facing off against George or Sonic. Sonic likewise seemed to be keeping an eye on Knuckles and George, but seemed to feel more in control of the situation. Clustered around Sonic was the SatAM team: Sally and Bunnie, Rotor, Antoine and Tails, who hid behind Bunnie and watched George with wide eyes.

Everyone went still, silent and tense, unsure of who to ask and who to listen to, first.

It was Sally who took the initiative, stepping forward with her hands up. "Okay, let's work this out. You - who are you?" she asked Knuckles.

Sonic watched George warningly out of the corner of his eye as if to say, 'don't do anything until she's ready to talk to you'. George made sure to keep still. Sonic had always seemed more approachable in games and videos, if not exactly cuddly. Now George could see why he made such a good freedom fighter: the hedgehog had a wiry, tough manner that he could only see now, in person. Just a single glance was enough to warn George not to mess with him. Sonic may have been young (in fact, maybe it was precisely because he was young and potentially impulsive that George felt the need to just shut up and obey), but he held command here. The nearest to come to challenging him in this respect was Knuckles, although he seemed to feel a touch overwhelmed by this particular set of events.

Knuckles scowled a little but acquiesced. "The name's Knuckles."

"And who are you? What do you do?" asked the princess, pressing for more.

Knuckles relaxed just a little. "I'm the guardian of the Master Emerald. It's around here somewhere and I'm going to find it. But if anyone here tries to take it you'll regret it."

Sally nodded. "Of course," she said, soothingly enough that he wouldn't feel challenged but not so much that he would feel patronized. "Did you lose it when you fell?"

Knuckles' jaw tightened; it seemed he didn't want to say any more.

"Did Robotnik do it?" asked George, and all eyes turned to him.

"Who?" Knuckles looked suspicious. His legendary fists balled up and George resisted the urge to take a step back.

"Dr. Robotnik," George elaborated. "Human. Not like me, though. He's known for being hungry for power. I'm guessing he'd want the Master Emerald for himself."

Knuckles relaxed again. "He called himself Robotnik." Then he looked up. "I don't know where he went. I was too busy saving your skin when you appeared. Shit, he could be after the Emerald now!"

Bunnie cleared her throat and glared at Knuckles. She'd put her hands over Tails' ears. "No swearing, sugah."

Knuckles was about to retort when Sonic took a single step to bring him in front of the rabbit and fox. "She said no swearing in front of the kid."

The echidna paused, then snorted and paid the trio no further attention. Instead he scanned the horizon as if searching for the Emerald - not that the horizon was very far away; they were more or less surrounded by forest.

The princess spoke again: "If it's any help, Robotnik's rarely quiet in the way he goes about things. If he was down here looking for the Emerald, we'd be able to hear him."

Knuckles looked conflicted about whether to trust this piece of information or not. But trusting Sally, with her reasonable tone, seemed the natural thing to do so he contented himself with scratching at his chest and scanning the depths of the forest some more.

Sally took this opportunity to turn to George. "So how did you get here?"

George shrugged. "I've genuinely got no idea. I woke up with Knuckles standing over me and that's the first I knew of all this."

Knuckles was watching him now, rubbing at his lower lip, deep in thought. "Robotnik had the Emerald hanging from his machine. He was nearly away from the Floating Island all together. Something invoked its power, and you appeared in a flash of light. I hit his machine and Robotnik started fighting back. I got him to drop it and then you, and me, and the Emerald, fell. I figured I needed to know more about you and you wouldn't survive the fall so I glided you to the ground."

George stood silently for a moment, stunned by this. "Thank you," he said eventually.

Knuckles shrugged. "Now the Emerald's lost. I've got to find it. And you, human? You're staying with me."

Now Sonic took over from Sally. "Then I'm coming with you."

"No!" Knuckles bristled. "I don't need your help. I'm looking for the Emerald alone!"

The hedgehog advanced on him, his prickles bristling just as bad. "I'm coming whether you like it or not. I don't trust humans and I'm keeping an eye on him." He jabbed a finger in George's direction.

George raised a finger to object, but a glare from Sonic shut him up. Instead the human looked at Sally, who smiled sympathetically at him. He put his finger down. "Well, if nothing else, I'm taller than you guys, so I can see a little further. I'll be good to come and look for it."

"And when you see it, you tell me," snarled Knuckles.

"Sure thing," answered George, although his own dominant streak made him want to tell Knuckles to stick his attitude up his ass.

Knuckles turned on his heel and went off in a random direction. Sonic followed but first shot George a warning glare.

George followed.

Sally called after them: "Sonic? We'll see you back at home and finish off work."

"Sure thing," he called back with a cheeky smile, which dropped again as soon as he looked ahead again.

As soon as they were out of hearing range of the rest of the team, Sonic faced off against George. "How do you know about Robotnik if you're new here?"

The human held his breath as he figured out how best to answer, and then sighed. "Where I come from, all of this - you, the Knothole Freedom Fighters, Knuckles, the fight against Robotnik - is a fictional story. I didn't think it was real, but here I am now and it looks real to me, so I'm just trying to fit in the best I can."

"You're from another world?"

"Another universe actually, I think."

Sonic looked skeptically up at the human. "If you turn out to be lying, you're in big trouble."

George pushed down half a dozen taunts. Now was not the time. "Sure. I'll be as good as gold, I promise."

The hedgehog smirked. "Yeah. Right. Come on, let's find this Emerald. Knuckles - what does it look like?"

As the two talked over the size, color and dimensions of the Master Emerald, George lost himself in thought. How had he got here? He knew he'd asked his friend, Jayne, for a story that went something like this and now, despite the fact that he'd expected to get a word-processing document by email with the story on, he was now inside it. That was… disturbing. He tried to contact her by a means that, in theory, should work in a written story.

 _Hey Jayne, can you read my mind?_ he thought, looking out for some kind of reply from her.

A scrap of paper fluttered in front of his eyes. One moment it wasn't there, the next moment it was. He grabbed it and turned it over to see that on it was written a message: **'Yes'.**

This… this was potentially very bad. _How come I'm actually here? Have you abducted me? I've got a life I need to live!_ George found himself shuddering as he walked through the leaf mold and grass of the forest, craning his neck absently for signs of a green gem sparkling in the dappled light. He couldn't see anything yet.

Another scrap materialized and he snatched it out of the air. **'…yeah. Look, the situation's like this: I know you think you're George, but you're not actually George. It would make more sense to call you George A'.**

 _George A? What does that mean?_

 **'You have George's memories, but you're… split off from him. A copy, of sorts. George will read about these events and think I'm just writing a self-insert story for him, and he'll carry on with your/his life. But for you, you'll actually experience the story itself. It helps keeps things realistic, if I get your authentic responses to events'.**

 _So wait - there's now two of me? And you can control reality?!_

 **'Yep. And mix it with fiction. That thing I did in the other story I told you about, it wasn't a plot device. It's really me'.**

 _Fuck, I didn't know you could actually do this! Take me home!_

 **'Sorry, but no. Suffice to say I'll keep you safe in this story, since you didn't really know what you were getting into. Just… try not to be too rash, when you meet Robotnik'.**

George's eyes bugged out. _I'm going to meet Robotnik?_

 **'Mm hmm'.**

 _That doesn't sound safe._

 **'True, but you've got this. We talked about this, remember?'.**

 _Well yeah, but I didn't think you could really do this!_

 **'Sad thing is, your original self will still just think this is entirely fiction. Sorry George'.**

 _Thanks for the useless apology,_ George snarked, and kept on searching.

xXx

George spent the next couple of hours, on and off, begging his original to help, but Jayne edited all of these out and warned George A that she had done this, since they didn't suit the purpose she had arranged with the original George. Indeed, to leave them in would waste the word count she had agreed with him. Eventually, after much arguing, begging, threatening, angry silences and failed attempts at bargaining, George A reluctantly accepted his position and decided that yes, he was going to fight Robotnik.

That was when he began to formulate his plan.

xXx

They found the Master Emerald lying cradled in a prickly bush. Knuckles hefted it onto his shoulder.

"Okay, well, there it is, Knuckles," said Sonic. "We can help you get it back up to your island. We have a plane. If you come back to Knothole we'll get it ready for you."

"Thanks," muttered Knuckles.

The group began to travel back.

George started thinking as they turned to head back, with Sonic leading the way. Where would things go from here? He wanted to go back home, but now that he was a copy, he suspected he couldn't. Maybe instead, he would live on Mobius, and… and…

 _Oh, crap!_

His schizophrenia! He was well-medicated at this particular point in time, but he didn't carry his meds around with him, and it was only a matter of time before they wore off and he began to suffer from a recurrence of his symptoms. He had to get home!

 _Jayne! Did you get that? I need to get home! Now!_

 **'Sorry George, nothing doing. You said you wanted a self-insert story, so you're going to have to work this one for yourself. Just for the record, I will let you go back home, if you figure out a way to. You will integrate seamlessly with Original!George'.**

George A fought to keep his breathing under control. _You total fucking bitch._

Jayne said nothing to that.

xXx

By the time they arrived in Knothole Village, George had convinced himself not to tell his hosts about his illness. If Mobian attitudes to schizophrenia were anything like terrestrial ones, he'd be in for a rough ride. Robotnik may or may not have been clinically insane, but if he was, then George would get tarred with the same brush.

He didn't need or want that. Instead, he talked to Sally, the next chance he got.

"So, um, Sonic and Rotor are getting the plane ready," he began, sitting down and hugging his knees in an effort to be somewhere close to Sally's height. Actually, when he sat down she was a bit taller than him.

"Yeah," she answered conversationally, and looked at him as if to ask why he was bringing that up.

"If the Emerald was responsible for bringing me here, then it's probably the key to getting me home."

Sally's look of realisation was… a little unsettling to George. That had seemed like such an obvious thought.

'They seem to think poorly in cartoons, sometimes'.

Jayne spoke in writing on the wall, unseen by Sally. But George caught it.

 **'Unlike the escape story, I thought I would at least give you characters who think like cartoon characters'.**

 _Yep. Thanks,_ he answered, not quite willing to let Jayne off the hook.

"Since I know what Robotnik's like, do you want me to help out with the Knothole Freedom Fighters while you figure out how to get me home? I don't mind helping, honest."

Sally stopped what she was doing and looked curiously at him. "It's normally so difficult to get people to help. You really want to volunteer?"

George nodded. "Yeah!"

The ground squirrel looked blown away. "Wow. Well, that's great. Welcome on board, George!"

He found himself shaking hands with her, which was a bit of an odd experience since her hands weren't even half the size of his own. "It's just that, I have a few ideas…"

xXx

Rotor looked uncertainly at Sally before answering George. Sally had heard it before so didn't look shocked. In fact, she didn't offer him any idea of her opinion. She clearly wanted Rotor to use his own judgement.

Nonetheless, Rotor echoed Sally's thoughts. "We value all life. We don't kill."

George held his breath. Hoo boy, this was going to be an interesting conversation. "Does Robotnik? I mean, would he kill?"

Again, the two Mobians looked at each other. "Yes, absolutely. Thousands are dead because of him."

"And does he continue to kill people?" the human asked.

"Yeah. Only last month he sent a raid into a town fifty miles north of here," Sally answered.

"So doesn't it stand to reason that killing him shows a greater respect to life than letting him live? I mean, there's having faith that he'll see the error of his ways, and there's understanding that he's just going to keep on killing…"

He stopped talking: Sally looked disheartened all of a sudden.

"Sally?" he prompted gently.

At first she said nothing. Then: "You're right. I guess I've always known it, it's just that…" She sighed. Then she got up from her seat and walked out.

George watched after her for a moment, and then turned to Rotor. "Will she be all right?"

"Yeah," he said, shrugging. "And, uh, you are right. It's just that humans seem to think more about killing than any other animal."

George smiled ruefully. "So I really should just do my best here and get out of your hair."

Rotor returned the smile and stood up. "I'll start breeding that anthrax."


	2. Chapter 2

Within half a day, George found himself with Sally again. Sonic insisted on being with the pair of them, perhaps to keep an eye on George around the ground squirrel.

That didn't matter. Sonic was going to need to know about all of this, anyway.

"So this is a straightforward Trojan virus," Sally began, running a finger down the screen to point out the code George had requested. "What do you want it to do?"

George explained the first part, and was half-way through explaining the second part when Sonic butted in.

"Wait wait wait - you said you had a plan. What's all of this?"

"It's a multi-tier plan," answered George, as if it should be obvious. Because it should have been. Man, were these people so used to thinking inside the box, to coming up with and executing just one plan at a time, that they hadn't thought to go all-out on a complete frontal assault on Robotnik from multiple directions, and totally overwhelming the bastard? Did he really have to spell this out, to Sonic the Hedgehog of all people?

Apparently he did, because Sonic's usual creased-browed hostility was replaced by sheer bafflement. "So… you want to do… how many things all at once?"

"Four."

"But that's impossible," said Sally, apparently by sheer reflex, because then she looked doubtfully at Sonic. "Isn't it?"

Sonic couldn't seem to think of a way to answer at first, and then they both looked at him together. "Okay, that sounds crazy, but let's do it to it!"

xXx

The following few days were a bustle of activity: growing anthrax spores, fixing up wireless secret cameras and a separate mic, and writing viral code. The details were rather too boring to include in this telling of the story, but suffice to say the tasks were done, and some of the group began to tentatively more favourable towards George.

xXx

Sonic and George hid behind a series of ventilation shafts and metal boxes outside the entrance to Robotnik's lair. It was easier for Sonic to hide than George on account of their relative sizes, and George had made amends by planning ahead, and opting to wear dark charcoal colours to blend in with his surroundings. He decided not to voice the idea that the vibrant-blue hedgehog should probably do the same.

Sonic made one final check of the clip of his backpack; he would need to open it discretely or in a hurry once they got in. Once he was satisfied he looked up at the human, his expression hard. "Okay, this is it. Are you ready?"

He'd never quite shaken free of his mistrust towards George. But then, this was the crunch point, wasn't it? Now, this human would either help him in this mission, or default to the humans' side.

"Yeah," answered George, his breathing a touch laboured from nerves. He had a plan, and he was 90% sure it would work.

What if it doesn't? Oh, come on George, this isn't the time to have second thoughts. He forced himself to smile. "Let's go," he said, and the two ran in.

Sonic kept up a slow-enough jog that George could keep up without quite having to sprint, and led them deep into the grim corridors. Soon, they heard Robotnik and Snively's unmistakable murmurs of conversation, and Sonic guided him closer. They hid against a wall, close to a doorway that clearly led to the two, nodded to each other, and went inside.

The first to see them was Snively, who froze momentarily, then turned almost numbly to Robotnik, who sat with his back to the door in his great swivel-chair. "S-sir? The hedgehog's here, sir."

Robotnik turned around and the two evil humans looked with hostility at the hedgehog - and then with surprise at his much-taller companion.

George only smiled, but it was a smile that lacked humour.

"Well well well, who is this?" The dictator rose from his chair to step closer to George.

The characters of the SatAM world had surprised George before, and he was again struck with the unexpected: Dr. Robotnik had huge presence, and not just from his aura of evil or the unsettling red lights that passed for his eyes. For all of his bulk, he was not flabby, and did not appear to be classically unfit. He was imposingly, magnificently fat, stouter than a barrel and probably impossible to topple over in a bare-knuckle fight. He looked invincible.

George relaxed his throat until he was sure he wouldn't squeak his answer - he understood now why Snively was quite so terrified of this furious red-haired man - and answered. "My name is George."

Robotnik seemed pleased to see him, and paced leisurely back and forth, his hands linked behind his back. Yes, this was a warlord indeed: George understood immediately that Robotnik dealt with people in terms of power play, of carrots and sticks - and that he was currently being offered a carrot. Play along with what he wanted, and he would be safe. But the threat remained close under the surface. "Tell me, why are you here, George?"

"For the same reason as Sonic's here," he said pleasantly, very aware of the lack of mechanical amplification in his voice that was present in the dictator's. "To bring you down."

Robotnik stopped, but his expression didn't become threatening. Yet. "Ohh," he mused. "To bring me down. How very quaint."

George found himself bringing every power-play skill he had into effect. He had to carry out his plan, but this initial meeting was as important to get right as the plan itself. He willed Sonic to keep quiet just for now, so that he could say something to establish some kind of power in this relationship.

"I think it will be easy. Your robots are awful. I could have made better AI in eighth grade."

Robotnik refused to take the bait. Mainly. George was sure he detected a vague hint of fury underneath a very well-kept façade. "The young lad thinks he can outwit my AI." Then he turned to George, his gaze direct. He was already tired of this youngster challenging him. "Then do it."

"I can play better chess than your AI," offered George, by way of example. "In fact, I bet I can play ten games of chess all at the same time with your robots, and win at least three."

He was rewarded with a curious look from Robotnik. It lasted only a moment however, before the doctor threw an instruction in Snively's direction. "Bring ten dexterous robots in here and programme them with the rules of chess."

An incredulous, wide-eyed Snively jumped to it. "Y-yes, sir."

"And we'll need ten chess boards and playing pieces too," added George. "Do you guys have 3D printing?"

Those wide eyes turned just a little narrower at this order. "Very well, and… yes." Then Snively turned his back and got on with this list of tasks before George could say anything else untoward.

Robotnik turned back to the two visitors, his arms folded imperiously. "And what of you, hedgehog?"

Sonic smirked and folded his own arms. "I just wanna see how this goes down."

During the setting-up, George caught a look from Sonic that seemed to say, What the hell are you doing?! Indeed, Sonic had asked George to create a diversion, but they hadn't discussed what kind of diversion it would be. Maybe Sonic had expected George to make a fool of himself somehow, to clown around to divert the dictator's attention. Nope, George could do much better than that!

Presently the arrangements were made, and George found himself at the centre of a cluster of robots, each waiting before a prepared chess board. Three pairs of eyes watched him with unveiled curiosity.

George smiled, approached the first robot and waited for it to make the first move. He was total crap at chess, but nobody here needed to know that.

The robot made its move.

George noted it, and walked pensively on. He would make a move later.

The second robot made its own move as fast as the one before, almost certainly having processed all of the available options and selected the best. After all, that was the point of artificial intelligence.

Again, George looked at the state of play, and moved on.

For the next minute or so, the room was silent but for the quiet scuff of George's shoes and the whirring and clicking of the chess-playing machines. The hedgehog and two other humans watched in rapt silence.

As George took note of the fifth robot's move on the fifth board, he turned and went towards the sixth - and gave Sonic a meaningful look that he hoped translated as, Plant the damn mic!

Sonic nodded and slowly, as George moved on, lowered his backpack from his shoulder and unclipped it. With Robotnik and Snively watching George, he reached into the bag unnoticed and stuck it to the underneath of the nearest desk.

George approached chess board number six, reached for a piece, and moved it.

The robot answered instantaneously with a killer move.

George raised his eyebrows but was not terribly surprised, and went to board number seven to make a move.

On and on it went, with George circling the room slowly under the watchful gaze of his three companions, until suddenly, he found himself in his first checkmate. He considered the robot for a moment, and then, without so much as a flicker of a facial expression, turned over his king.

Robotnik rumbled with satisfaction. Sonic looked sorely disappointed and like he was getting itchy feet about the whole thing. George ensured that he looked calm, and went on to the next board.

Two moves later, George moved a piece and smiled with genuine relief - a relief he hid with a well-placed stroke of his chin - when the robot picked up its king and turned her over.

His first victory.

Snively shook his head slightly in disbelief, watching the proceedings like a hawk.

xXx

Outside, at a convenient computer interface point courtesy of Bunnie, Sally was programming in the virus.

"Ah swear, if this turns out not to work, ah'm gonna write off all humans as crazy," announced the rabbit.

Sally didn't take her eyes off the screen, although she agreed completely. "I really hope this works. He just seems to think so differently from us. There," she said with a very muted flourish, "it's in. Now to make the connection with that mic."

xXx

"What?" asked Robotnik dangerously as king number two was turned over by a robot's hand. "How is this possible?"

George, whose heart beat so fast it was making his head spin, took a moment out to calm down. Of course, his only option in the circumstances was to look peaceful, collected and overall as Zen as possible, so he closed his hands in prayer pose before his face and closed his eyes in faux-meditation. His adrenaline rush would pass. In the meantime, he didn't want to pick up a piece with his hands shaking the way they were. Touched together like this, their trembling wouldn't be obvious.

"I already said," he said quietly on an out-breath. "Your AI is very poor."

"Impossible!" hissed the dictator.

"Possible, actually," he said, approaching another board. He moved a piece but it was a losing move. He turned his king over and moved on.

George's loss to the robot calmed Robotnik down some.

xXx

Sally had connected to the mic, and had been waiting for Robotnik or Snively to talk, but hearing this conversation made the ground squirrel and rabbit look incredulously at each other.

"What in blazes is he doin' in there?" asked Bunnie.

"I have no idea," Sally mused, and then selected the portion of the sound file containing Robotnik's voice. "But I hope Snively talks soon."

xXx

The end of the next game resulted in a loss for George, too, and Sonic once again looked skeptical. Thankfully however, he said nothing.

Robotnik, of course, was smug. "How weak is my AI now, lad?"

"Oh, so-so," answered George non-committally, and continued around the room. "Enjoying the show, Sniv?" he asked, although he wouldn't particularly listen to the answer. He didn't really have the mental space left for that.

Snively cleared his throat. "The name's Snively. And… eh, yes. I'm enjoying it. How many losses is that now, Dr Robotnik, sir? Three?"

George looked at Robotnik for confirmation, a vague smirk on his face that would hopefully provide a diversion while Sonic zipped around behind the two other humans, placing the cameras.

"Three losses," confirmed Robotnik, unaware of the cameras being placed behind his back.

xXx

"Come on George, don't lose it now!" Sally whispered in answer to this eavesdropped conversation. While she waited for more conversation, she took the snippet of Snively's voice and fed it to the virus.

xXx

Sonic was delighted when he saw a king being turned over for the third time by a robot. "Yeah, man! I knew you could do it! Well, Ro-butt-nik, gotta juice!"

He darted forward and grabbed George by the arm, and yanked him out of the room, forcing the human to stumble after him to avoid falling over or getting his arm dislocated.

They quickly caught up with Sally and Bunnie, and then ran on to the city limits and out of Robotropolis all together.

As soon as they were in safe territory - that was to say, at their rendezvous with Knuckles, the party whooped and cheered together (with the exception of Knuckles, of course, who only began to prepare his payload and gas mask). This jubilation only slowed when Sally asked what George had done to hold Robotnik's attention like that.

Sonic laughed and hiked a thumb in George's direction. "He played ten games of chess with ten robots, and won three!"

Sally's delighted grin faded into one of bafflement, and she blinked at the human. "You… did that?"

George smiled and nodded, body language that he could allow to flow more freely now that he wasn't concentrating like crazy.

"Wow. But… how?"

George was about to answer when Knuckles interrupted.

"Hey," grunted Knuckles. "You're ready for me to go in, right?"

Sonic nodded. "Yeah. Good luck, Knuckles," he said as the red echidna began the run into Robotropolis.

xXx

The Knothole Freedom Fighters were clearly still more focused on this mission than on quizzing George on his feat, for Sally opened Nicole to allow them all a live feed from the mic - and the cameras. A touch of a button allowed her to switch from one, to another, to another. "Let's see how things are going in there. It… looks like you caused quite a stir," she added, as everybody present settled down to watch Robotnik and Snively having an animated conversation. Or better to say, Robotnik was animated and Snively was plainly more reserved, but every fiber of his being radiated confusion anyway.

"It shouldn't be possible," the dictator said sternly, but confusedly.

Snively shook his head in similar confusion, and began to tidy away the surplus chess boards. "I just don't understand it, sir."

Robotnik picked up a fallen king and turned it over, looking pensively at it. "I will examine the programming," he said, half to himself, before letting the king fall into the palm of his robotic hand and crushing it. "In the meantime, check the security cameras and run diagnostics, and see what Sonic's pathetic companions were doing. They must have been up to something - this," he indicated the array of boards with a sweep of his hand, "was a distraction."

Snively opened up a communications channel with the city's entire fleet of SWATbots. "Keep a special watch for any and all of the Freedom Fighters, and bring them to me." He went through to the next room to check his security cameras, and when he saw the various screens, paused in confusion.

A total of seven SWATbots were visible, and all were completely still. Each had frozen mid-stride.

He tilted his head at the unexpected sight, and opened up the communications channel in this room. "All SWATbots are to report to sector 3 immediately." He didn't want them to go to sector 3 in particular, he just wanted to give a different order to see if that would bring the robots out of their frozen state. It didn't work, so he hopped down from his seat and went back through to Robotnik's main chamber.

Julian was busy tapping at a keyboard and staring fixedly at a screen showing a directory of the complex's root files. He looked tense.

Snively cleared his throat nervously before reporting to his uncle: "The SWATbots aren't moving, sir."

Julian looked around at Snively, his eyes hard and angry. "What?!"

Snively was sure Julian had heard, but since his uncle often liked to force him to repeat his misdemeanors for the sole purpose of shaming him for them, he repeated meekly, "The SWATbots aren't working, sir."

Julian growled and returned to his screen, and aborted whatever he was doing so that he could check the SWATbots' files. "Their programming looks normal. Are you sure you didn't do something when you installed that chess software?"

Snively backed down, as much as his already-submissive posture would allow. "Quite sure, s-sir," he said, pitching his voice so that Dr. Robotnik knew he did in fact harbour a small doubt. But his uncle was in a better place to check for mistakes, since he was already looking at the source files. "Perhaps there is an unexpected error in one of the files you haven't yet checked?"

Robotnik growled again, but as yet had nothing specific to pin on Snively. Instead he tensed further and checked through more of the files. "There's nothing wrong, here. It must be a hardware problem. Go outside and check."

Snively hesitated for almost long enough to be noticed by his uncle. He pushed down the jumble of indignation in his chest and accepted the command. "Y-yes, sir."

xXx

Sally gasped at this. "I didn't think of this! If he sees the chassis pulled off the interface, he'll know something's wrong!"

Sonic jumped to his feet, ready for action, and looked at George. "Come on - we're gonna stop him."

George thought for a moment, and then had a brainwave. "Sure. I just need some rope."

As Bunnie arranged some rope for George, Sally telecommed Knuckles to tell him to hold fire on the anthrax.

xXx

"Who does he think he is, sending me out here?" grumbled Snively as he wandered down the exit corridor, his fists clenched as they swung by his sides. "We have roboticized Mobians for this. I'm his right-hand man!" Something big obscured most of the light coming from the end of the corridor up ahead, and he recognized it instantly. "You!"

George stood there, his arms folded, a wicked grin on his face. And a length of coiled rope over his shoulder. "Hi."

Snively approached closer. If he had been an animal, his hackles would have risen. "What did you do?"

George walked closer, although it wasn't an aggressive walk, just a confident one. "I won three games of chess, and I would have won more if I hadn't been interrupted."

They came toe-to-toe, and although George was at least twice as tall as Snively, the smaller man was not afraid, only outraged. Living with Robotnik tended to desensitize people to other threats. "I'm talking about the- URK!"

George hefted Snively into the air and tucked him under his arm. "Please come with me, Mr. Kintobor," said George easily, and with a vaguely creepy glee.

The last thing Snively saw before he was taken into the nearest storage room was Sonic Hedgehog in the corridor, watching them both, with a questioning crease on his forehead.

xXx

Ten minutes later, George finally released Snively from his grip.

Which wasn't to say that Snively was able to run away. No, George had made competent use of the rope. Almost too competent…

Snively felt humiliated, more so than if he had simply lost a fight. He wasn't entirely sure had passed between the two of them here, and he didn't believe he wanted to know, either. He stared at the floor, not willing to meet the bigger man's eye and even less so to struggle, for he could feel that his limbs had been tied into complete immobility.

What kind of mood had he picked up on from George? The imposter had become quiet and strangely intense during the binding. His throat had occasionally worked as if he was swallowing more often than usual and his breathing had become… careful? Deliberate? His body-scent had become strong enough for Snively to notice, as if George was physically heating up.

Then George stood up, towering over Snively. But he still didn't come across as malevolent. Not exactly.

Sonic chose this moment to step forward, although he seemed to be feeling similarly dubious about all of this. "So, uh, George - we done here?"

George stroked his chin for a moment, and then nodded. "Yeah. I'm satisfied."

Sonic and Snively both flinched a little at this comment and shared an uncomfortable glance.

"…Yyyeah. Okay. Let's go."

And they left.


	3. Chapter 3

The uncomfortable silence between Sonic and George continued until they reached the others. George subtly encouraged the conversation to start flowing again by casually saying, "Snively's dealt with. Knuckles can deliver the payload now."

A nod of agreement from Sonic encouraged Sally to telecomm Knuckles again. "Okay Knuckles, go ahead."

"Sure," came his buzzy, curt reply. Unseen on the back of the great bulk of Robotnik's main complex and protected with a heavy-duty gas mask, Knuckles ripped open a packet of spores, which he up-ended into the top of the ventilation shaft.

Then he let the empty packet fly away on a breeze, took a running leap, and glided back the way he had come.

Eventually the echidna neared the Knothole Freedom Fighters and their human companion, and dropped to the ground. He pulled off his gas mask, gave Sonic a surly look, and let the hedgehog and ground squirrel lead the way back to Knothole.

As they walked, Sally held Nicole aloft so that they could all watch the drama unfold. Robotnik was the only one visible, since Sonic hadn't planted any cameras in the storage room that Snively inhabited, but that didn't mean there wasn't anything interesting to watch…

xXx

Robotnik was furiously busy, fighting to head off a rapidly-increasing volley of fake attacks on his system's core files. Fake, but convincing and aggressive enough to worry him. They kept on coming, faster and faster until it was all that Julian could do to keep his core in one piece.

"Who is responsible for this!" he demanded, then remembered that nobody could hear him talk and that his nephew should therefore be around for him to shout at, and called over his shoulder. "SNIVELY!"

He turned back to the screen, and snarled. Even this small act had put him further onto the back foot, so rather than shouting any more to call his nephew, he instead fought to regain the thread of his defensive maneuvers. He was slowly losing, and clearly his frustration was mounting.

xXx

"What's he doing?" asked Knuckles, his brow as creased as ever with his ever-present suspicion, but curious nonetheless.

"It's a fake ransomware attack," explained Sally. "The programme made a mirror of his most important computer files, and then it attacked them. He's trying to fight it off but in the end it'll be too hard, because the attacks are going to get faster and more difficult to stop. Soon he won't be able to keep up at all. It was George's idea."

"Then why didn't you make it attack the real files?" Knuckles looked savagely up at George. "You're protecting Robotnik!"

"Not really," answered George, but Knuckles looked just about ready to launch himself at the human.

Sally and Bunnie exchanged a look, and Bunnie put her metal hand on the echidna's shoulder. "Hold yer fire, sugah." Her order was tinged with just enough warning to stop the monotreme.

"He's a traitor!" growled Knuckles, but accepted her instruction, at least for the next few seconds.

Bunnie looked enquiringly at Sally, who explained: "George wanted us to keep the core files intact because he wanted them to run all of Robotnik's hardware at once, as hard as it will go."

"Robotnik thinks that we've attacked his core files with a virus," George picked up from the princess, aiming his explanation at Knuckles. "We haven't really, but it'll keep him busy until it's too late. While he's working to protect the mirror files, the real ones are putting his peripherals into overdrive. Every heater, production-line robot, conveyor belt, fan… you name it. It's all going to wear out. Some of the pieces are eventually going to burst into flames."

Knuckles had closed his eyes and was now massaging his temples. "But… but… You already had a plan. You distracted him while I put the anthrax into the ventilation system. What has this got to do with that?"

"It's a chain of distractions so that he doesn't know where the real attacks are coming from," answered George. "Even the peripherals bursting into flames is a distraction. Think about it: he can live without peripherals. Sorta. It's not actually that bad of an attack, in itself. But when they do burn out, it'll be loud and dramatic and noisy. Like I said: a distraction. He'll think that was what we came here to do, pick up the pieces, and go back to doing the stuff he normally does. And then he'll get sick from the anthrax and die."

Sonic and Sally, Bunnie and Knuckles all faltered in their strides as George said this last word. They looked up at him with wide eyes, disturbed all over again.

It was Bunnie who voiced everyone's thoughts. "You do this stuff with a lot of style, Sugah, but… your plan. It's lethal."

"It needs to be," he answered.

It was an uncomfortable group that eventually returned to Knothole. They talked, but a combination of shock, deep thought about George's plan, and rekindled suspicion of the human kept the conversation somewhat stilted.

xXx

George found himself alone in Knothole, wandering around the village with his hands in his pockets. He was pretty cold and in low spirits, and it was difficult to do very much about either problem.

Unfortunately, his height and bulk made it all but impossible to enter anybody's house, even the guest hut that any native Mobian would probably have been invited to use. The best he could do on that score was sit on Rotor's front porch, since his workshop was open at the front unless it rained and the walrus closed it with a roll-down tarp. That said, he wasn't particularly welcome there right now.

Over the past days, sleeping had been something of an issue (he had wandered about during the night to keep warm, and snoozed in the sun during the day). Eating and going to the bathroom were similarly tricky (for the former, he had been given hand-outs. For the latter, he had made use of the fact that a river ran through Knothole, and followed it out of the village as far as he could whenever the need arose).

On this evening, George was aware that he was less welcome than before, so no handouts of food or blankets were forthcoming.

He was also aware of a small conference going on in Sonic's hut, and suspected it had something to do with him, if the guarded looks he'd been given by everybody attending were anything to go by.

He knocked on Aunt Rosie's door.

The old woodchuck answered, her expression wondering and a little afraid as she looked up at him. "Yes, dear?"

George smiled humbly. "Hi. Mind if I borrow a book? It's just, there isn't anybody to talk to out here. I could use something to read."

"Oh - yes, of course. Wait here."

He sat on the ground as he waited for her to return.

She eventually shuffled back with a small stack of books in her arms. "There you are, dear. I hope that's enough for you."

George picked them up from where she left them on her front step, and took the hint. She wanted him to go away. "They'll be great. Thank you."

The human left to find a fading patch of sunlight where he would be able to see the pages properly. He opened one book and saw what he'd expected to see: unintelligible marks. Mobian writing was very different from terrestrial writing; he couldn't read this. But that wasn't what he wanted from the books. What he wanted was cover.

He sent a thought to Jayne, a book open in front of his face at a page that was mostly blank, at the end of a chapter. _So, what now? Robotnik's not dead yet, but I think he's going to die._

Instantly, writing appeared on the blank portion of the page. **'I can make it so. You have set up some very good reasons for him to die. And as for what to do now, you must come home.'**

 _How?_

 **'Leave that to Sally and Rotor. They have the expertise.'**

George huffed bitterly. _Then it's ironic they couldn't figure out how to kill Robotnik by themselves. They can reverse-engineer the roboticizer and send a rocket booster into space, but they can't figure out how to kill an inefficient dictator? What gives?_

 **'Ah, yes. I figured out a reason for that.'**

George settled back against a tree trunk. _Go ahead and tell me. I've got time._

 **'There is a deep-seated cultural tendency among the inhabitants of Mobius to tell stories - to themselves, and to each other. I don't mean anything as well-constructed as folk-tales, I mean something more subtle: the stories of their lives.'**

 _I don't understand,_ admitted George.

 **'It's like this: Robotnik believes himself to be an alpha male, the biggest and baddest on the planet, so he does things that affirm that self-view. Sonic, Sally, Bunnie and the others believe themselves to be child soldiers, with all of the drama and perks and down-sides that accompanies this identity. Robotnik, the Knothole Freedom Fighters, and most other Mobians are culturally inclined to do things that confirm their identities, even if doing so comes at the expense of accomplishing their goals. Therefore, a highly-educated robotics expert and warlord has failed to kill a small group of children - and latterly, adolescents. And a troupe of hardened guerillas have failed to kill a dictator with a tendency to put all his eggs in one basket and to make glaring lapses in judgement due to poor mental health.'**

George looked left and right, as if somebody might have been reading over his shoulder, or perhaps because of a subconscious wish to share this revelation with somebody else. It seemed that his loneliness really was getting to him. _Oh. Well, that kind of makes sense. But don't people in our world do that? I'm pretty sure I do it._

 **'Certainly. We all do, to one extent or another. However, the Mobians have a stronger tendency to do it than the inhabitants of the planet you and I inhabit. It means they think differently to you and I. Your mind is freer so they have found your behaviour strange and at times, disturbing.**

 **'The story you 'told' them when you introduced yourself and your plan to disable Robotnik was strange by Mobian standards: more convoluted, with far more plot-twists, and your ending is quiet and undramatic. It is true that Robotnik and Snively will die, but not in a blaze of glory. If they had, then Sonic and co. would be able to relate to your thought processes better.'**

George thought back to the way the group had looked horrified by his comment about Robotnik and Snively dying. _So they didn't like the fact that I was actually going to succeed in killing the bad guys because in their eyes, I'm supposed to try and fail. Right?_

 **'Right'.**

He gazed at the sky as he digested this, and then stretched out. _Thanks. I always wondered why cartoon characters were so gullible._

Jayne didn't answer him about that, and only said, **'We need to get you back home and re-integrate you with George. Rest for a while. Sonic and Sally will approach you again soon enough.'**

xXx

"Snively!" Robotnik called. He had divided his time between fending off the virus attacking his core files (and being moderately successful at this), and trying to resolve the mystery of why his SWATbots weren't responding to his voice. He needed extra help. "Snively!"

"Through here, sir," called his nephew, his voice a little strained.

"Come through here!" thundered Robotnik. Surely the little fool understood that he was being called and to respond instantly? Why wouldn't he come?

"I… can't, sir."

Robotnik growled over his shoulder. "Why not?"

"I'm rather tied up, sir."

Tied up? "Tied up with what?" Robotnik was getting more and more furious.

"Rope, sir," came the sheepish - and unexpectedly literal - response.

"Rope?! What on…" Julian let loose a bellow of frustration and left his station to find his nephew. It was worth the investment in time to bring Snively to heel-

He reached the storage room, the source of Snively's voice, and stopped dead. Snively was indeed tied up, quite literally. The small man sat on the floor, his arms behind his back and his legs bound together from ankles to thighs. The look he gave Julian was one of sheepish shame. "Can you cut me free, please Julian?" he mumbled.

Robotnik picked him up by the ropes binding his arms and carried him through to the main work-station, fully aware that this would hurt. "Who did this to you?" he said quietly, his very quietness a threat hanging over Snively.

"George, sir."

"George?" he asked, lifting Snively to eye-level. The glow of his red eyes reflected off Snively's skin. "He came back?"

"Y-yes, sir," answered a terrified Snively.

"Why did you not stop him?!"

Snively struggled to hitch in his breath. "I tried, sir, but he tied me up like this and please can you cut me free, my shoulders hurt."

"More than your shoulders will hurt by the time I'm done with you!" roared Robotnik. But nevertheless, as Snively quaked, he released a blade from the wrist of his robotic arm and cut the ropes.

Snively fell to the floor and rolled over, groaning. "Thank you, sir."

Robotnik dropped the severed ropes on to him. "The SWATbots still aren't responding to my voice. Probably not yours, either. Now get to work!"

xXx

Back in Knothole, the Freedom Fighters watched all of this in silence, gathered around their remote surveillance camera. As the two humans settled down at keyboards, tapping away desperately to try and bring their crumbling empire back under control, the Mobians all looked to Sonic and Sally.

"So what are we all supposed to do next, Sally-girl?" asked Bunnie.

The princess looked at her friend. "I guess all we can do now is wait."

Sonic looked tense. "I dunno Sal, I don't like waiting, it gives me the creeps. I don't like having a human wandering around Knothole, either. When are we sending him home?"

Rotor and Sally smiled at each other, and Rotor answered. "We're pretty much there, Sonic."

Sally nodded. "We designed a machine to focus the Chaos Emerald's energy. All he has to do is stand in the beam and he can go home."

"So we can do that now, right?" asked the hedgehog.

"Almost, but not quite," answered the ground squirrel. "The machine's loading some background files. It will be ready in the morning."

Sonic didn't quite understand what this meant, but since Sally looked happy enough, he let it lie.

As everybody went quiet, Sally began to look deep in thought.

"What is it, Sal?"

"I'm wondering," she said slowly. "After Robotnik and Snively are gone, the humans of Mobius are going to have a hard time accepting the non-humans. My guess is there are going to be retaliatory attacks. George is… a little unconventional, but I think he's got a good heart." She turned to Sonic. "We have just finished a mission, so the villagers are going to want to hear us talk about it. Why don't we let George tell them about this one? It might go a little way towards calming everyone's fear of humans."

Sonic scoffed. "You think George will make everybody trust humans?"

The princess hesitated before she answered. "Not exactly. But he's an improvement on Robotnik, right?"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:**

 **I readers. I'm sorry about the lack of formatting in this story. I only realised after I checked how the story has shown up once I was 2 chapters in. I might come back and upload the whole thing in a better format some time, but I tend to be a bit short on time these days, so it's less likely.**

 **I hope you enjoy it anyway, and remember: writers love feedback and reviews ;)**

The evening turned to night, and the Knothole villagers made their usual hero-worshipping preparations: somebody made hot, sweet drinks for everyone to dip into, somebody else roasted nuts and popped corn for snacks, and yet somebody else set a small bonfire to act as both heat and light.

Of course, everybody assumed that as usual, Sonic would be telling the tale.

Everybody was wrong.

Sonic got up onto the tree stump that served for a stage, to the usual volley of whoops and cheers. "So, guys! I've got some exciting news for you. But it ain't gonna be me telling you about it. You've all seen him, some of you have actually met him. Welcome up on to the stage, GEORGE!" He got down off the stump to make space for the human, offering George a thumbs-up and a wink.

Sonic's bombastic introduction didn't quite match George's humble stepping-up.

"Hi," he said to the many pairs of eyes watching him with a mixture of uncertainty, wonder, suspicion, eagerness and fear. He found he wasn't sure what to do with his hands, so he jammed them in his pockets. "Um, so, we've gone a long way to getting Robotnik and Snively out of the way. They probably won't be bothering you any more for the next month or so, and they definitely won't do, after that." He stopped talking, to give himself a breather – he'd never liked public speaking – and to let the crowd react in whatever way they saw fit.

Their reaction was to look at one another and mumble a whole lot.

A pig spoke up. "So are they dead?"

George shook his head. "Not yet, but they will be."

This led to a series of gasps.

Sonic, who had taken to leaning against a tree trunk, called over to George: "Why don't you tell everyone how you did it?"

George nodded thanks for the advice and turned back to the audience. "I set up several plans at once, some effective, some ineffective, and multi-layered, so Robotnik didn't know what to react to and what not to. I didn't make all of the plans clear to him so there were some he never knew about."

That didn't seem to go down particularly well. But then, he was well-aware that this wasn't the Big Damn Heroes type of story the crowd was used to. Well, if that was what they wanted, he would do his best to tell it that way. He sat down; given his height, even like this he could see over most of the heads in the crowd. "I asked Sally and Rotor to design software to break all of Robotnik's machines. I also asked them to make a fake virus. As we speak, Robotnik's still trying to fight it off."

A skunk muttered loud enough that George heard him: "That's two plans at the same time. It doesn't make sense."

A turtle answered him: "Of course it does. Two plans, two bad guys."

"No no no no, that's not why we did it like that," George said hurriedly. "This wasn't about getting Robotnik with one plan and Snively with another one. They both had to fight off both attacks together. You see?"

"I-I think I see," said a bat, though she looked dazed and massaged her temple with the knuckle of one wing. "It was to overwhelm them, right?"

"Right!" answered George, heartened that somebody got it. "Sally had to install the software, so to distract Robotnik and Snively from noticing her and stopping her, we went to see Robotnik ourselves, to keep him busy." George indicated himself and Sonic.

Everybody looked uncertainly in Sonic's direction.

The hedgehog looked unperturbed. "Wait 'til you hear the next part!" he said, grinning.

The eyes swivelled back to George.

"I tricked Robotnik into thinking I was playing ten games of chess at once."

This, at least, made Rotor stand up straighter. The walrus and Sally leaned in to listen more attentively.

"I told Robotnik his robots were stupid. So stupid that I was confident I could beat them at chess. He didn't think I could do it, so he agreed. I'd won three games by the time Sonic got us out of there, and I could have won another two."

Rotor huffed with frustration. "Okay okay, I get that bit, but how? It shouldn't have been possible!"

George laughed, the first spontaneous smile in days spreading across his face. "Of course it's not! I didn't play ten games. I didn't play any. Look: I suggested ten because it sounds like an impressively big number, bearing in mind what I was suggesting. It's also an even number, which meant I could pair the robots up in my head. Each robot had a chess board in front of it and I went around them all to move the pieces.

"For the first five robots, I let them make the first move, memorised it, and then walked on. For the second five robots – the first five's partners – I made the same moves as each of the first five had made. The second five reacted to those moves, which I memorised, and then I made those moves to play against the first five robots."

Rotor and Sally looked wide-eyed at each other in silence.

"Oh my gosh," whispered Sally at last. The entire crowd had gone silent enough for her whisper to be heard.

"He was-" Rotor turned numbly to George. "-You were only playing five games."

"None at all, if you want to be particular about it. But the important thing was, no matter what else happened, five of those games were going to be won, and five lost. Robotnik was so offended by my claim that his AIs were shi-" George looked at Tails, then Bunnie, then corrected himself. "-weak, that he didn't think it through. He just wanted me to lose."

Tails, unlike most of the villagers, was absolutely entranced. "That is way, way, way past cool!"

"Heh, thanks!" answered George.

"You really fooled Robotnik, huh!" said the little fox, his two tails waving excitedly behind him.

"That was the idea. And it worked." He let that sink in for a moment – and gave himself another moment's respite, before continuing. "By the time three games were won, Robotnik lost his temper so we left. Sally had had enough time to programme in the software, so we left.

"So then Robotnik turned back to his computers to see that it looked like he had a virus, so he tried to fight it off."

Sally had come to the front of the crowd to put a hand on Tails' shoulder, perhaps to remind him to be careful around the human. She momentarily turned to the crowd. "It wasn't a real virus, it just mimicked one. It was quicker to make than a real one."

"Meanwhile," George picked up from her, "the program that did the real damage was working un-noticed, making all of his machines break down."

Sally spoke up again. "It's all broken down, guys. Even if Robotnik can survive this, it would take him months to get back to where he started."

This encouraged cheers from the crowd.

"But there's more," said George.

The crowd quietened again, eyeing him uneasily.

"There was one plan that Robotnik never learned about. While all of this was going on, another guest of yours-" here he nodded in Knuckles' direction. "-dropped an anthrax parcel into the ventilation ducts. It doesn't affect people instantly, the effects are delayed. Robotnik and Snively will be busy re-building their empire and both will start to develop symptoms. With any luck they won't think anything of it at first and just wait for it to run itself out. By the time they know they're dangerously sick, it'll be too late to do anything about it."

The crowd went silent again, this time with shock.

Sonic came forward and stood up on the dais. George vacated it and took a place at the edge of the crowd. "So we're not going into Robotropolis for a while," he said, "and I don't want anyone to go there scavenging or exploring for a while. Y'all cool with that?"

The crowd mumbled, and many nodded.

After that, the crowd broke up so that everybody could celebrate, but there was a strange feeling in the air. Although the villagers, not to mention the Knothole Freedom Fighters themselves, were elated at Robotnik's impending demise, there seemed to be a discomfort about something.

To George, it was clear that the discomfort was in his presence, so he made a point of staying out of the way.

xXx

The following morning was a glorious sight, first painting pale gold on the leaves of the Great Forest, then creeping down the trunks of the trees, and finally warming the grass and soil. Flowers were slow to unfurl their petals to greet the day, as if even they felt cautious, just for now.

George awoke from a shallow and broken doze as Sonic, Sally, Rotor and Knuckles approached. "Hi guys," he said, stretching but not yet standing, the better to stay close to their level.

"Hi," answered the hedgehog with some reserve.

"We're ready to send you back home," Sally told him.

Sonic stood a little way behind her, giving George the Warning Eye.

As if George wouldn't want to go back! Sure, this had been quite an adventure. But he could feel his mind starting to tense and twitch as his last medication began to wear off. He had kept his schizophrenia a secret, and if he left now, they would never have to know. He stood up with a smile. "Great – then lead the way!"

As they walked, George looked down at Sally. "I just have one question."

She looked up. "What is it?"

"Do you still have that gas mask?"

The princess paused. "Yes. Why?"

George held his breath a moment. "I realised while I was finishing off telling the story to everybody last night. Robotnik and Snively could still take antibiotics once they know something's up. Do they have a store of antibiotics in Robotropolis? It's just, it might be worth going and getting them, or spoiling them or something, so they can't use them."

It was Sonic who answered. "Don't worry about it, man. We raided his medical stores long ago. They're long gone."

"Ah." Then it was George's turn to pause. "So you replaced the antibiotics with sugar pills and water, and switched his store of sterile bandages with the closest non-sterile replica you could make, right?"

The animals goggled at him. "No," said Sally eventually. "We just took them."

George sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Of course you did. Look... have you ever heard of the placebo effect?" When Sally looked at him blankly, he elaborated, just in case the Mobians had a different name for it. "Where you stimulate the belief in a patient that they're getting better by giving them a pill, even though it's medically inactive?"

The Mobians looked suspiciously at him. "Why would anybody do that?"

"Because for some medical conditions, believing they're taking medicine does as much good as the actual medicine itself, maybe more. And it's cheaper to make placebos than real medicine."

That displeased Sonic greatly. "Is that what this is about? Money?"

"No! No, no no no! I mean, it's something to consider, not least because Mobians probably overstretch their medical professionals just like they do where I come from, so giving placebos would help free up funding to where it's more needed."

"Well, we-uh, I mean, we..." Sally started to say, and then fell into a quiet and uneasy contemplation.

He saw the awestruck looks on their faces and sighed again. "Before we do the Chaos Emerald thing, can I talk to Knothole's doctor?"

THE END.


End file.
